


Come On, Daredevil

by extraterrestriallester (spaceyjules)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bad Mother-Son Relationship, Family Issues, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:25:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4068373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceyjules/pseuds/extraterrestriallester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’re both the gay cousin at someone else’s wedding and I’m only here to piss off my homophobic family members (that disowned me when I came out) but you’re actually really cute and now you keep hitting on me AU”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Proud? Oh No, She Hates Me.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own Dan and Phil, blah dee blah, I had this idea when it was like 4am and I don’t even remember writing it down but I’m glad I did. EDIT: this turned out quite long so I’ve decided to split it up into two chapters and the second one will be posted a

**Title:** Come On, Daredevil

**Summary:** “We’re both the gay cousin at someone else’s wedding and I’m only here to piss off my homophobic family members (that disowned me when I came out) but you’re actually really cute and now you keep hitting on me AU”. 

**Warnings:** homophobia (mostly slurs and insults), bad relationships with family members.

**Word count:** 2100 exactly

**Author’s note:** I don’t own Dan and Phil, blah dee blah, I had this idea when it was like 4am and I don’t even remember writing it down but I’m glad I did. EDIT: this turned out quite long so I’ve decided to split it up into two chapters and the second one will be posted as soon as possible!

 

 

 

Dan looked at himself in the mirror. He looked nice, actually. The suit, black and with a clean, white button-up shirt underneath it, fitted perfectly. He adjusted his fringe, made it fall slightly over his left eye, exactly the way his mother had always hated it. When he still lived at home, his hair used to be longer and it would happen more easily. He didn’t do it on purpose back then, but now he did. 

He looked at the wristband on his bedside drawer. It was old, he’d gotten it at his first pride. That was three years ago. The colours weren’t faded or anything though, the band looked like it was brand new and the pink-purple-blue contrasted with Dan’s pale skin. That was because Dan never actually wore the damn thing. He didn’t like it, it wasn’t even beautiful or anything, he just got it as a souvenir. Dan sighed, looking like he was considering _not_ putting it on, then wriggled his hand into the bracelet. 

Anything to piss off his mother.

 

The wedding was fancy, Dan had to admit. The terrain was gigantic, there was a church, and a square, and a garden that had to take up more space than the outline of the flat Dan lived in. 

He was only here for the bride. Lucy was his cousin, and she had called Dan personally to invite him to the wedding. 

 

 

_“Will my parents be there?”_  
_“I’ll have to invite them, I-”_  
_“No. I can’t, I’m sorry.”_  
_“Dan, please? This is the most important day of my life, alright, and I would really, really appreciate it if you’d come. Maybe your mum and dad won’t be able to go, maybe they will, but who cares? It’s just your parents.”_

_Dan scoffed. “That’s funny, Luce. I don’t want to get anywhere near them. They cast me out, and I’m not coming back. Simple as that.”_  
_“You haven’t seen them in three years, Dan! Can you please just get over this? You know, maybe they’ve changed. For all you know, they could be fighting for gay rights like they needed them themselves!”_  
_Dan took a deep breath. “Firstly, I am not gay. Secondly, I am over it, and that’s the point. I closed that chapter a long time ago, and I’m not opening it all up again. I am done with that now. My parents were horrible people who treated me like I was an absolute piece of garbage, and to be quite honest, I’m perfectly content with never seeing those negative influences in my life ever again.”_

_“Pleaseee? For me, Dan, please? Because I’m your special Luce? I want you there, I really want you to be there because you’re very important to me and I’m getting married to the love of my life and I want to share that with you.”_

_Damn Lucy and her flattery, she knew that was Dan’s soft spot. He sighed, deeply._   
_“Fine.”_

_Lucy gasped in excitement. “Really?”_   
_“Yes, I’ll go to your fucking wedding, but only for you. Because you’re my “special Luce”. Oh, and if you try and set me up with anyone, I’ll kill you before you can say your vows.”_

_Dan could hear Lucy yelling “he’s coming!” and something that sounded like a “brilliant!” on the other side of the line._

 

It was the voice of a woman that dragged Dan back to the real world. “Daniel James Howell, you are late to the party.”

“Geez Luce, sorry I didn’t have a fancy limousine to bring me here.” 

Lucy grinned affectionately, and when Dan grinned back, she laughed. “You sarcastic little-” 

She didn’t have to finish her sentence, because Dan had pulled her into a hug. When he let go of her, Lucy said that he looked lovely and Dan said that he really liked her dress, and then Lucy’s fiance came up to them and the rest was kind of a blur. 

 

It was weird, seeing all these people again.

Dan rarely got to talk to the nice people in his family, as he never went to family days or gatherings to avoid meeting his parents. He had to admit, he’d missed Lucy, and he’d missed her younger sister, and maybe even William, who was the groom tonight. 

William was a blonde, he liked planes and jokes about football, and he looked kind of out of place next to Lucy, who had pitch black hair and the dark skin colour of her father. 

They worked perfectly together though, and clearly, they were in love. 

 

Dan was happy for them, but also a little bit jealous. Though he’d never even dare to admit that to himself. 

 

There was lunch, in which Dan chatted with his great-grand uncle, who was old but funny. After lunch, the whole group gradually started moving to the church, and Dan could’ve sworn he saw a glimpse of his brother, but it was probably his overactive imagination. He’d missed his brother, but there was no way of contacting him. Mum kept tabs on everybody Thomas spoke to, and she would _definitely_ find out if he was talking to Dan.

 

The ceremony was beautiful and Dan nearly cried during the vows. He didn’t see anyone that even looked like his parents. The day was going great so far. 

 

Of course, that couldn’t last for too long.

 

The party was amazing. There was a marquee that covered the entirety of the gigantic “backyard” of the church, and there were more people Dan could count. 

The buffet was… a gift from the Lord, probably. Mashed potatoes and gravy, but also chicken, rice, pasta and ratatouille. 

Of course, there were also drinks. 

Lot’s and lots of drinks, and on Lucy the alcohol had already started to do its work. She could still walk and make conversation, yes, but apparently she’d also completely forgotten about her promise not to try and set Dan up with anyone.

 

“Dan, I’m telling you, you would _love_ this one cousin of mine, he’s-”

 

“Luce, sorry to shatter all your dreams apart, but I _am_ your cousin.”

 

William came back with drinks, but before he could hand them out, Dan heard a voice from behind him.

 

“Will, give me that. I need to get drunk. Right now.” it turned out to be a young man, probably older than Dan and a little taller. His black hair was pushed back in a quiff. His suit was what one would call peculiar, but it looked good on him. Dan labeled him Strange Guy.

Strange Guy grabbed a shot from William’s hand and drank all of it in one go. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. “Pardon my language, and no offense, but Lucy, your family is absolutely fucking horrific.” Dan laughed, and Strange Guy smiled. 

 

“Hi.” said Dan, and he stuck out his hand. “My name’s Dan. Dan Howell.”

 

Strange Guy shook Dan’s hand and winked. “Nice to meet you, Dan Howell.” 

 

William sighed. “Dan, I’d like to introduce you to my little brother. Watch out, because he eats boys like you for breakfast. His name’s Philip.”  

 

Phil whined childlike. “ _Please_ don’t call me that. I’m Phil.”

 

A dance song started playing, and Lucy dragged her husband onto the dancefloor, yelling that this was their jam and they couldn’t possibly skip it. Dan and Phil were left behind with two unfinished drinks. Both of them didn’t really mind.

 

“Nice bracelet, by the way.” Phil winked at Dan. “Unfortunately, I’ve left mine at home.”

 

Dan laughed. “I considered not putting it on, but I’ll do anything for my mum.”

 

“She’s proud of you? Lucky bastard.”

 

“Proud? I wish, oh no, she fucking hates me. I’m the family shame.”

 

Phil let out a breathy laugh in amazement. “Ouch. How do you _live_ with that?”

 

“I don’t. Haven’t spoken to her in three years.”

 

“Oh.” Phil smiled softly. “Good choice. I mean, it sucks, in a way. But still, it’s a healthy choice.”

 

They were silent for a minute, sipping their respective drinks, thinking their own thoughts. It was a comfortable silence, but Dan was still bugged by something. 

“Who were you talking to earlier?” he asked. “The person that made you capable of drinking two beers in five minutes?” 

 

Phil quickly finished his third drink. “You see that woman over there?” he pointed somewhere to the other side of the dancefloor, at the end of the buffet. “With the reddish hair and the disgusting green trousers? Her. She seemed okay, I introduced myself with a hello and ‘My name’s Phil’, we got chatting. She told me she was Lucy’s aunt or something, and asked if I was here with my girlfriend. ‘No miss,’ I said, ‘I’m gay and single.’ Well. She didn’t approve of that. All about how it was unnatural and oh, don’t even get her started on her son, the “dirty fag” that he was. It was horrible. _She_ was horrible. Can I have another drink? Thanks.”

Dan finally laid eyes upon the woman Phil was talking about, realised who she was, and froze. His mind stopped working, his body physically tensed, he felt the urge to throw up.

 

Mum.

 

His mother, right there, in her horrific green trousers, wearing a matching blouse and equally disgusting cardigan. A silent whisper left his mouth. “Oh my god.” 

 

“I know, right?” Phil said. “She’s craz- wait, are you okay? You look a little dazed or something.”

 

“That’s, um.” Dan’s voice was raspy. “That’s my mum.”

 

Phil’s eyes widened in shock. He gasped and put his hand over his mouth. “Oh my God. Oh my God, I’m sorry. I mean, she’s still horrible, but- I mean. Shit man.”

 

Weirdly enough, Dan felt the need to laugh. It started as a giggle, but when he noticed that Phil was biting his lips trying extremely hard not to chuckle, Dan couldn’t help but double up with laughter. This caused Phil to laugh as well, and before he knew it, Dan had tears streaming down his face. 

 

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe-” Phil’s sentence ended in hiccups. That was cute, but Dan didn’t let himself think about it for too long.

 

Dan took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Okay, in… and out… breathe…” 

 

Phil playfully poked Dan’s side. “I dare you to go talk to her.” 

 

That was an incredibly bad idea, Dan thought. He shouldn’t, he really, really shouldn’t do that. Not now and not ever. He was better off at this party without a conversation with a woman that he used to call his mother.

Unfortunately, Dan’s had too much too drink, and there’s a cute a boy next to him. The alcohol wasn’t exactly giving him a hand. Clear judgement of the situation wasn’t happening. Clever Dan was long gone. “What do I get out of it?” 

 

Phil thought for a while, biting his lip in concentration. Slowly, his mouth formed a smug smirk. “Oh, I know a _great_ prize.” 

 

Dan raised his eyebrows. “And what may that be?” 

 

Phil lowered his head and whispered in Dan’s ear. “A kiss.” 

 

Dan nearly choked on his spit. “What?!” 

 

Phil stepped back and crossed his arms. “Not good enough? I mean, I suppose I could give you more, but you don’t seem like the fuck-at-first-date type.”

 

“I’m fucking speechless.” said Dan. “You are _so_ full of yourself.” 

 

“Oh my God. You’re really good at lying to yourself.” 

 

Dan frowned. “I’m sorry?”

 

“You’ve been checking me out, since the moment you laid your eyes upon me.” Phil poked his finger in Dan’s chest. “Lucky you, because I don’t particularly mind.” 

 

“Yeah. Well, uh. I-” Dan was kind of baffled. All things considered though, he didn’t feel like he _wouldn’t_ want to kiss Phil. “Fine. But on my terms and conditions.” 

 

Phil smiled. “Whatever you want.”

 

“One: I can say I did for a dare.” 

 

Phil shrugged. “That would only make it more hilarious, that’s fine.”

 

“Two: I can say _you_ dared me to do it.” 

 

“Hmm. Okay. Anything else?” 

 

“If she injures me you have to take me home.” 

 

Phil laughed. “Brilliant! Mister, I think we have a deal.” 

 

Dan shook Phil’s hand giggly. He turned around to find his mother. There she was, at the bar, drinking wine. Phil pushed Dan in the right direction. “Come on, daredevil.” 

Dan playfully punched Phil’s arm. He then winked and walked over to his mother.

It was kind of scary, but the alcohol (and Phil) made him reckless. Dan could feel his heart beating in his throat, pulse elevated. Fear, excitement, it felt good to be alive again. 

Six meters, five, four. Three meters, he could still walk away and pretend it never happened. 

 

One meter.

He tapped on his mother’s shoulder. “Hello, Maria.” 

 

 


	2. Do You Remember Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE EPIC FINALE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo it's finally here!! this took me WAY too long and i’m SO SORRY. i don’t feel like it’s my best but I tried and my beta said she liked it. also hope you like it!

**Chapter two** : Do You Remember Me?

 **Summary:** “We’re both the gay cousin at someone else’s wedding and I’m only here to piss off my homophobic family members (that disowned me when I came out) but you’re actually really cute and now you keep hitting on me AU”. - Chapter two.

 **Warnings:** homophobia (mostly slurs and insults), bad relationships with family members.

 **Word count:** 1836 words (reading time 7 minutes according to hemingway lol)

 **Author’s note:** this took me WAY too long and i’m SO SORRY. i don’t feel like it’s my best but I tried and my beta said she liked it. also hope you like it!

 

The moment Maria turned around, everything in Dan’s world seemed to slow down. Her hair, the same shade, but with more grey than he remembered. Wrinkles around her eyes, more present now. Her clothes looked new, but they weren’t. Dan knew them. He knew those trousers, that blouse, and the god-awful matching cardigan. She only wore them on special occasions. 

Like Thomas’ eleventh birthday, or that time they celebrated christmas at grandpa’s. She would get those clothes out two days before, one day to wash them, and one day to dry and iron them.

She stood back, let her eyes glide over him. Dan felt exposed. Exposed to this woman, this woman that looked at him, _judged_ him like nobody else did. It was awful, it felt wrong. He felt so fragile and small, so inexplicably small, even though his chin was higher than the top of her head. She furrowed her eyebrows, looking confused. 

Shaking her head very slightly, she looked like she was having an inner debate.“I don’t think I’ve seen you before. Who are you?”

Dan was shocked, to say the least. He had imagined a scene, Maria screaming and calling him names, yelling and fighting. In that case, he would’ve thrown punches if he had to. Hell, he’d love to have started screaming blasphemy at Maria. That’s what he’d prepared for. 

Secretly he had also hoped a welcome home. Crying happy tears, a family reunion, hugging his brother, forgive and forget. Tell dad all about how he got his own apartment, talk about Pride with Thomas, laugh with mum. Secretly. 

But not this, never this, never would he have thought that his mother wouldn’t even recognise him. 

 

“Hello?” Maria’s voice drew Dan back to reality. Ah, yes, reality. Here he was, in a marquee on his cousin’s wedding, meeting his mum again three years after getting kicked out of the house, because somebody promised to kiss him if he did so. Don’t you just love reality?

 

Dan blinked a few times, a bit dumbfounded by it all. “Sorry.” he stuck out his hand. “I’m a Howell, from Lucy’s family.” he smiled apologetically and shook Maria’s hand with feigned enthusiasm. “Daniel James Howell, do you remember me? You kicked me out of the house when I was eighteen years old.” 

Maria dropped her drink, and also seemed to struggle with keeping the remains of her last sip of wine in her mouth. 

She didn’t even flinch at the glass crunching underneath her feet when she threw her arms around Dan. “Daniel!” she took his hands between his face and kissed his forehead. “Oh, honey! I’ve missed you so much!” 

Dan awkwardly patted his mum’s back. He wasn’t very optimistic about this. That was mainly because of the pit of worry in his lower stomach. He didn’t know exactly how to respond to this overwhelming welcome, either. “H- hi mum. Good to see you, too?”

 

“Oh honey! You’ve grown so much!” Maria lowered her voice when she saw various people looking at her.

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Dan feltawkward. He didn’t know what to do, what to say, where to look. He panicked, scanned the room to see if someone could help, but nobody noticed anything and no way that Dan was going to ask Phil for help. That’d be not only embarrassing but also set off his mum, and it was going so well. 

The hard thing was, he'd never expected this. Hoped, yes, but never expected. All in all, things weren't going according to plan.

 

He’d have to improvise. 

 

When Dan had finally wrestled himself free from Maria’s tight grip, he scraped his throat. “Uh, Maria?” 

 

Maria shot him a disapproving look. “I’m your mother dear, not your friend.” 

 

Unwillingly, Dan felt embarrassed. Addressing his mother with “mum” rather than her first name hadn’t even crossed his mind. It just didn’t feel right. Connecting that word with this woman, that wasn’t supposed to happen. Cross-referencing her face with a sense of comfort and familiarity was impossible. A person’s mother, that was the one person that you could always trust with your life. The one that would always accept you, no matter what. Someone who’d support you in everything, picked you up when you fell. 

Maria had been everything but supportive of him, and when Dan’s world was crashing down, she hadn’t even been there to pick up the pieces. Oh, no, she’d helped breaking it up and letting it fall apart, and she’d done it with a smile on her face to the melody of her favourite song.

Never could she ever resemble anything that was even close to a mum. 

 

Nevertheless, Dan obeyed her command. It made him sick to his stomach to say it, but there wasn’t really any other option. “Mum.” 

 

Maria smiled contentedly. “Yes, dear?”

 

“Where’s Thomas?”The only person at home that had ever been nice to him, was his brother. Dan wanted to see him.

 

The smile was wiped from Maria’s face instantly. She would’ve gone pale if she wasn’t as white as a sheet naturally. She stared at the remains of her drink, but didn’t answer. 

 

“Hello?” Dan clicked his fingers in front of Maria’s face. “Dan to Maria, do I have contact?” 

 

 _Slap!_ A smack on his left cheek. 

 

 _Slap!_ One on his right. 

 

_Slap! Slap!_

 

Dan couldn’t turn away, couldn’t move, couldn’t think. 

In all the years that he had lived at home, his parents had held back pocket money, confiscated his phone and left him alone for hours on end. He had been shouted at, grounded, locked up in his room, all the regular and slightly irregular stuff. But never, never had any of his family members hit him. Sure, he’d been playfully punched by his dad, and he Thomas liked to tackle each other after an intense session of play station, but never had he been _hit_. 

 

It hurt. 

 

Maria had stopped hitting him, but his cheeks burned and she was shouting. “It’s your fault! All you fault, you faggot! You disgusting miserable cunt! It’s your fault, it’s your fault!” 

 

Dan hid behind his arms, covering his face in case Maria tried to smack him across the face again. She didn't do that.

However, she did continue to verbally abuse Dan. "Disgusting pratt! You made him like this, you're appalling! Why did you have to come back? I'm doing fine without you, I never needed you!" Maria stopped yelling now. She lowered her voice to a rough whisper. "You know, I never asked for this. I just wanted a _normal_ family, with _normal_ kids. You know, boy, girl, dog, husband. You know what I got instead? A cocksucker and a transvestite!”

 

Phil had been watching all of it, and he was paralysed with guilt. This was his fault. He made Dan go up there, he caused this. Dan was hurting and Phil could do nothing, just watch as Dan got smacked, shouted at, accused of thing he’d never done. 

The worst was that nobody noticed. 

 

Dan knew she wasn’t right. He knew she was trying to guilt-trip him into apologising, he knew what she was trying to do, he’d seen it before. 

Yet, it worked. 

Dan felt guilty, even though he didn’t want to, even though he knew he was wrong. He couldn’t do anything about it, it just happened. And it happened every time, all the time. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he said hoarsely. 

 

Maria scoffed. “Damn right, you are. Gross little brainwasher.” 

 

They said nothing for a while. The silence between them was deafening, painful almost. She was testing him. Watching how long it would take for him to ask the obvious question. Dan didn’t want to give her the pleasure, the satisfaction of having to explain something to him. But he needed to know. “What do you mean, a transvestite?” 

 

“Ha!” said Maria. “As if you don’t know.”

 

Dan sighed tiredly, motioning for Maria to continue. 

 

“Three weeks ago, it happened. He said he needed to tell us something. ‘I’m a girl.’ he said. ‘I’ma girl and I’m moving out.’” Maria sounded annoyed, rather than sad. “It’s bullshit, of course. It’s only a phase, it has to be. He wants us to call him Elizabeth, for fuck’s sake! So I told him to piss off until he got it out of his head.”

 

Dan felt himself getting worked up. He hated her. He hated her so, so much. Himself getting kicked out, he could take that. He’d never been good friends with his mother, not like his sibling. Elizabeth _needed_ Maria. They did nearly everything together. Dan figured things must’ve changed after he’d moved out. 

His breathing was ragged, his heart was beating in his throat. He could feel his pulse quicken. 

 

 _Smack!_ This time, he hit her. Right across her face. 

 

Dan couldn’t contain himself. “Bitch! I can’t believe you did that!” he yelled. “The only friend I had in that house!” Dan tried to calm down, but he couldn’t. He lowered his voice though, and leveled face to face with Maria. Dan couldn’t believe he was doing this, but it felt oddly good. To finally tell her the truth, to finally let her know how disgusting she was. “I hate you. Everyone around you deserves so much better.” Dan sighed. “I would spit you in the face, but I’m above that. Goodbye.”

 

Phil snapped out of his trance when Dan was right in front of him.Phil felt how embarrassment overtook him. Dan probably felt like crap and the only thing Phil could do was stare. The confidence from earlier was gone, and that was terrifying. He wanted to say something, anything. “I’m- I’m sorry I made you do that. That must’ve sucked.” 

 

Dan absent-mindedly rubbed his sore cheek. He smiled softly at Phil. “It’s okay. I guess I’m used to it. I mean, God. That sounded so sad. I’m okay.”

 

Phil couldn’t help but smile. “You did well, I think. You paid her back with the same coin, that’s good. She kind of deserved it.” 

 

Dan snorted. “I love how you’re so carefully implying that she’s horrible. I mean, like I don’t know. Stop trying not to be rude, it’s fine. She _did_ deserve it.” 

 

Phil laughed. “Thanks.” 

 

They were silent for a while and stared at each other. 

 

Dan was truly mesmerising, Phil thought. He had a bright smile and pretty hair and great fashion sense. He was funny, but intelligent. And, Phil couldn’t stop himself from thinking this, he was _hot_. Unconsciously, he bit his lip. 

 

“You, uh, still owe me a reward.” Dan nervously fumbled with the sleeve of his jacket and stared at his shoes. “I mean, if you’re still up for it, of course.” 

 

“Ah. Alright.” Phil said. He started to gain back his confidence. “Not to rush into anything, but she did injure you. So… I’d have to take you home.” 

 

Dan went bright red. Phil wanted that? Really? With _him_? He had do something, act cool. With feigned casualty, he said “Kiss me first.” 

 

It didn’t take very long for Phil to oblige. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment if u liked it :-)! thank you for reading & have a great day. if you want to read more of me, track #pansexualphics on tumblr.


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